Trying to find stability

It’s amazing the thoughts that flow through your head when it’s 2 in the morning. The past few days I have been having a sicking feeling each and every time I think of my faith in relation to homosexuality. Understanding of these things is what I want. Can I be a gay Christian? What does that involved? Can I be practicing my sexuality with someone that I love regardless of the fact that they are another man? Can I find middle ground and still be happy? I have been working with others from my church to get to a place where I am healthy. Because of the addictions that I have developed, the sex and porn, I really need time to get healthy through the power of God. I am not expecting a miracle but I have come far from where I was before. I hope in the coming weeks I will answer the above questions.